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Author: thecabinetlv.

Famed butterfly researcher Earl Mason Wingert had planned to present his discovery of a new species, Heliconius culltelus, to the International Lepidopterists Society, but his specimens escaped and he quickly learned how appropriate the “Amazonian Razorwing” nomenclature was.

This decorative pitcher was thought to have been inspired by the proverb, “little pitchers have big ears,” entreating adults to mind their language around children. In fact, it was actually inspired by the designer’s uncle, who had unusually large ears. The success of “Big Ears” prompted the design of a sugar bowl entitled “Long, Gangly Fingers,” and a teapot, “That Weird Thing On The Back Of My Neck That’s Been There A While But I Should Probably Get Looked At.”

The bear rug was obviously too big for the bathroom, but this would be just perfect. Ezra put it in there after Arleen went to bed, so she’d be surprised when she went in to take a shower in the morning. He knew she was going to love it.

Matthias Hempins, the representative from the third district of West Virginia rarely needed to speak in House debates to make his opinions known on certain topics. When a Delaware representative suggested a special tax might be levied on coal to help fund medical care for orphans of mineworkers, the gentleman from West Virginia stood up, walked across the gallery, and brought the head of his cane down upon the other man's hand with such force as to separate three of his fingers from their hand entirely. Hempins then glared around the gallery, wiped off his cane, and returned to his seat. The gentleman from Delaware declined to press charges, and an amendment was passed exempting West Virginia coal from any further "special taxes."

She decided to give herself a lovely seashell on her first birthday on the island. She never thought it would become two, then three, and by the time her great grandchildren, with exceptional tenacity and at considerable expense, managed to trace her doomed flight to that island, all that remained of the world's greatest solo hot air balloonist was a pile of shells and bones.

Nobody was sure how, but the Houghton Alabaster Mine of Tawas City, Michigan was able to predict the winners of every city council election with remarkable accuracy. The day before an election, miners would head into the mine and emerge with likenesses of the winners, mysteriously etched into the stone. It got so locals didn’t even bother voting, they just trusted in the wisdom of the stone; a truly calcified political system.

Marty delighted in showing the nutcracker off to his friends on poker nights. The “reminds me of my wife” joke never seemed to get old until one particularly boozy evening when he came to bed stone drunk and didn’t wake up until Maxine was working on his fourth finger. Wasn’t so funny then.